How language influences results in recruitment and job advertising

By Mitch Sullivan,

How language influences results in recruitment and job advertising

Here are two ads for a Production Manager.

The original job description

“Private, fast-growing engineering company manufacturing high-tech quality machinery for worldwide export has immediate opening for decision maker to manage production division.

Production to double within the next year necessitates efficient coordination of rapidly expanding department.

Right candidate must have minimum 10 years related experience. emphasis on organization, planning, and purchasing. Candidates must have excellent people-management and leadership skills.”

The revamped job advert

“Immediate opening for a proactive Plant Manager who will grow with this engineering company, which manufactures high-tech quality machinery for worldwide export.

You will manage the production division, solving technical, people and government-compliance issues by following procedures and developing new ones when necessary. You will set standards and ensure they are consistently met, even under the pressure of ambitious delivery targets. You are highly experienced and skilled in project and people management and purchasing - and can prove it.

The first step is to call now for all the information you need.”

The results:

Before: 300 applicants, of which only 1 was ‘good’.

After: 100 applicants, of which 8 were ‘good’.

(Edited from ‘Words that Change Minds’ (WTCM) by Shelle Rose Charvet)

What does this mean for your recruitment advertising?

Shelle hasn’t followed all our guidelines, but has used the LAB(r) profile. It stands for Language And Behaviour which comprises 14 patterns for mastering the language of influence.

After analysing the job description and discussions with the Board, the most important patterns she used in the ‘after’ ad include:

That’s jargon, and the book explains all of it.

In plain English, the ideal person for this job is more motivated by solving problems than by reaching goals. They don’t need much support or direction, because they know for themselves when they’ve done a good job. And they prefer following a set process to having lots of choices.

Can you spot where she’s used those insights in the second ad? They’re subtle.

They’re subtle, but you can learn how to use them when writing your own recruitment ads. My recruitment copywriting training courses are the ideal place to gain that knowledge.

More from the blog

All articles